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            Friday, November 30, 2007

            Rodney King Has Nine Lives: Zero Luck, Zero Money.

            .

            Note to Trent Benefield, Genarlow Wilson, Bryant Purvis, Mychal Bell, Carwin Jones, Marcus Dixon, and Co.: Look. Listen. Learn.

            Thursday, November 29, 2007

            NBC News To Black Women: "You'll Die A Lonely, Childless, Cat Lady."

            Tuesday, November 27, 2007

            , it's still pretty appalling.

            Note to Black America: learn, trust, and love each other. Turn this crap off, because NBC News clearly cares about keeping us apart more than they do about where Black Women Stand.

            The ladies at , but if you're watching this series and have a different take, you know where to voice your two cents.

            AverageBro NewsBriefs: DC Edition







            Monday, November 26, 2007

            Maybe AB Owes The NAACP An Apology... Maybe Not.

            is crying inside.



            Friday, November 23, 2007

            Giving Thanks


            As we pause for the cause of this great holiday, let's not forget the real reason for the season. Well, other than luring folks in to drop a crapload of money on Christmas gifts and buying another Aspen 北京体彩网官方网站 for lots of CEO's of course. The other reason for the season is the pause and reflect on all things good.

            In that spirit, I present to you, Things AB is Thankful For:

            God. Nuff' said.

            A church that teaches practical biblical principle without pimping me in the process.

            A wife who is 10 times smarter than me and fine as hell. Every man should be so lucky.

            A brilliant son who looks just like me. No need to call Maury on that one.

            A functional family.

            Loving and supportive outlaws in-laws.

            Great friends who don't care about my feelings.

            Good health.

            A reasonably challenging career that allows me to take care of my family.

            Okay, now on to the trivial stuff.


            Second chances. Because if my team hadn't resigned Andray Blatche after his highly publicized run in with a prostitute, our season would be lost right now.

            Black people like Tavis Smiley who "get it".

            Fantasy Football.

            Hi Definition TV.

            Broadband Internet Access. Because this blog wouldn't exist if I was still on dial up.

            Black people like Michael Baisden, who "don't get it", thus giving me lots of fodder for this blog.

            BET, for providing me with enough examples of Extreme Niggadom to keep this blog alive.

            The NBA.

            Good neighbors.

            AverageMentee and Average5thGradeRecLeagueHoopsTeam. Cause AB love da' kids.

            Readers like you who check for AB.com on the regular and don't mind letting me know when/if they disagree with me. Shouts out to Chris N., deedee, plez, GAGirl, cinco, and V. And yes, even you domo.

            Happy Holidays! If you got something you're thankful for, drop it in the comments.

            Wednesday, November 21, 2007

            It Ain't Over Yet - The Iowa Caucus is Coming.

            in Iowa a few years ago, and never recovered. That fateful night provided the springboard for John Kerry to completely screw up what should have been a cakewalk to the White House, dooming us to another 4 years of G-Dubbz.

            So, even though I've previously admired, yet .*

            Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, buoyed by strong support from Christian conservatives, has surged past three of his better-known presidential rivals and is now challenging former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney for the lead in the Iowa Republican caucuses, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News Poll.

            Huckabee has tripled his support in Iowa since late July, eclipsing former New York mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, former senator Fred D. Thompson (Tenn.) and Sen. John McCain (Ariz.). Huckabee now runs nearly evenly with Romney, the longtime Iowa front-runner.
            Not to be outdone, Barry is mounting his own comeback.
            A new Washington Post/ABC News poll of likely Democratic caucus-goers has Barack Obama leading the primary field with 30 percent, compared with Clinton at 26 percent and John Edwards at 22 percent. Obama's lead doesn't amount to much given that it's still within the poll's margin of error. But the horse race numbers, along with the results of other questions asked in the poll, has his campaign smiling. It's the first time in weeks that Obama has held such a lead. (See the full results and Post story here.)

            Clinton is still seen as the more experienced Democrat, but caucus-goers surveyed in the poll say they are more interested in change: Fifty-five percent said a "new direction and new ideas" was their top priority, compared with 33 percent who said "strength and experience." Obama is also increasingly the second choice of Iowa voters, the Post reports. That's significant because any candidate who doesn't win 15 percent at a caucus is deemed enviable, and his or her supporters must choose another candidate or go 北京体彩网官方网站.
            As I've stated before, I wouldn't vote for a Republican on a national or statewide ticket if the alternative were to gouge my eyes out with a Bojangles spork, but I'm pretty impressed by Huckabee. In a sea of extremely sketchy characters on the GOP side, he sticks out as the rare candidate with some level of personal integrity. And as for Barack, no, I'm not unretiring

            A Coach Who Really Keeps Losing in Perspective

            Monday, November 19, 2007

            Restoring My Faith In The Criminal Justice System


            So, Lindsay Lohan does 84 minutes. Ditto for Nicole Richie. Mike Nifong barely a day. Naturally, when I saw Mike Tyson, the shell of a former heavyweight champion, plead guilty to cocaine possession last month, I figured he'd be buried under the jail.

            Not so fast.

            Mike Tyson was sentenced Monday to 24 hours in jail and three years' probation for drug possession and driving under the influence. The former heavyweight champion had pleaded guilty in September to a single felony count of cocaine possession and a misdemeanor DUI count.

            Police pulled Tyson over after the boxer had spent the evening at Scottsdale's Pussycat Lounge. An officer said he saw Tyson wiping a white substance off the dashboard of his black BMW, and that his speech was slurred.

            Authorities said they found bags of cocaine in Tyson's pocket and in his car.

            Tyson told officers later that he used cocaine "whenever I can get my hands on it," and that he preferred to smoke it in Marlboro cigarettes with the tobacco pulled out, according to court documents. He also told police that he used marijuana that day and was taking the antidepressant Zoloft, the documents state.
            Of course is no laughing matter, but dag, how high did Iron Mike have to be to drop the "whenever I can get my hands on it" line? That's classic Tyson right there.

            I'm surprised he didn't get more time, and I can't really decide whether this is preferential "celebrity" treatment or whether I just expected him to do more time since he's black. Because as you all know (and some of you tell me repeatedly), I'm just obsessed with race like that.

            While I was out last week, I didn't get to weigh in on the somewhat related story that the Feds are now , and considering making this change retroactive for those previously sentenced.
            The disparity in sentences for those convicted under the crack and cocaine guidelines is staggering. Federal law sets a mandatory minimum five-year prison sentence for trafficking in 5 grams of crack cocaine, but it would take 500 grams of cocaine powder to warrant the same sentence.
            This disparity in minimum mandatory sentencing isn't new of course, and many have seen this dichotomy as racist. I happen to agree, since this sort of inordinate sentencing has devastated communities.

            On the flipside however, lets not get it twisted. These brothers were unfairly sentenced, but they ain't exactly saints (sound familiar?). By practically opening the floodgates and sending all these cats back 北京体彩网官方网站 at once into a faltering economy, aren't you pretty much ensuring an outrageous recidivism rate? And aren't you making hustlin' an even more attractive career path, since cats will inevitably realize you can get off far easier now? This is hardly a win-win. Weigh in below.

            On a lighter note, since that Tyson quote was so good, I figured I'd throw in a few more classics. Beware, the language is not safe for work. Grab those headphones first.





            Note To Self: Cancel That Detroit Vacation

            Friday, November 16, 2007

            You Are NOT The Baby's Father... Now Read That Cue Card.



            *Sarcasm, my friends. It's called sarcasm.

            Thursday, November 15, 2007

            The Obligatory Stepha Henry Post

            Yes, she's still missing. Nope, still nobody gives a crap.



            I did a Google search and got nothing new. Google News search: nothing new. Google Blog search: the first returned hit was my last post.

            WTF?!!?

            If somebody knows a rapper or self-aggrandizing talk show host who'd love to take the reins and turn this into a legit story, please tell em' to holler at me.

            In the meantime, if you'd like to give something to the family, here's the info, courtesy of .

            If anyone would like to donate to Sylvia Henry, Stepha’s mother there is an address below to send checks. As far as I know, these monies are being used to raise the reward for information and may be used to offset the expenses she encounters traveling back and forth to Florida.

            Sylvia Henry
            PO Box 5083
            Hollywood, Florida, 33083-5083

            John Jay College is also taking up a reward. Those wishing to contribute can mail a check payable to the following address:

            John Jay College Foundation Inc.
            Stepha Henry Reward Fund, at John Jay College Foundation
            899 10th Ave., Room 623T
            New York, NY 10019
            I never thought I'd actually pray for Rebb'n Al and Jesse to come to the rescue, but here's one instance in which they (or at least the publicity that comes along with them) are really needed.

            Keep this family, and this young lady in your prayers.

            Other Stepha Henry Posts @ AB.com

            Wednesday, November 14, 2007

            AB GuestPost - Black Men Can't Run... From Uncle Sam!

            .

            Tuesday, November 13, 2007

            AB GuestPost: Michael Baisden Should Be Ashamed

            . I've always thought of radio/TV personality Michael Baisden as a used car salesman type hustler, and his involvement in the Jena Six "movement" made me wonder what was really up with this guy. Turns out there's a story behind even his story.]
            --

            Why didn’t listeners suspect a ratings ploy when , Michael Baisden, took up the gauntlet for the “Jena 6” instead of “?”

            In the fashion of Jerry Springer, the radio talk show host of “Love, Lust, and Lies” found ratings in racism. And a post-Katrina black America was his target demographic. The issue at the forefront of the black agenda was obvious: equal justice. With a black candidate campaigning for the Democratic presidential nomination, Baisden marched in lockstep with the black netroots – hundreds of interlinked blogs and tens of thousands of followers.

            lead what Rev. Al Sharpton has an “underground railroad of information.” This non-profit corporation has since collected and distributed over $200,000 to the Jena 6 legal defense. Conversely, The Michael Baisden Foundation raised $40,000, he at the start of his Nov. 5 broadcast. Copying another best practice from the netroots (), Baisden announced a way for listeners to donate online in the form of a “Web-A-Thon.” He challenged his audience to raise $1 million in 1 day - Friday, Nov. 9.

            As a precursor to unveiling a his Internet-based strategy for out-fundraising competitors, Baisden offered Marcus Jones, the father of Mychal Bell, an open mic to discredit ColorofChange.org. Jones said that “a lot of these online organizations are unknown to the families.” And Baisden claimed to have a letter signed by all the Jena 6 families that implies that ColorOfChange.org is acting against the wishes of the families.

            According to a posted on their Web site, “We’ve[ColorofChange.org] fielded inquiries from CNN, the Tom Joyner Morning Show, Black America Web, and others, based on Marcus Jones’ allegations–they all concluded the claims were without merit and refused to give him a stage to speak.

            “The Jena 6 families are all aware of how we raise money and how we distribute it,” ColorofChange.org said. “We make payments to their attorneys at the families’ sole direction. Within 24 hours of receiving written authorization from the family, along with an invoice from an attorney, we send checks for up to 1/6 of the total amount donated (1/6 for each of the Jena 6 families).” ColorofChange.org also posted a as evidence of their relationship.

            The letter supposedly signed by the Jena 6 families is false, they said. “One parent who signed the letter says that it made no mention of ColorOfChange whatsoever. Two families say they did not sign the letter at all. They also posted an sent to Baisden’s team by one of the parents who did not sign the letter.

            Although The Baisden Foundation is inextricably linked to its namesake’s for-profit enterprises, Baisden insists that “any insinuations that were made about me wanting to be the sole fundraiser for legal defense is ridiculous,” he .

            Baisen’s just “too tired after [his] radio gig to take on that responsibility, and furthermore, it is impossible,” he said.

            Really? Too tired to host the “Enough Is Enough” benefiting his foundation’s Un-Equal Justice Legal Defense Fund on Friday, Nov. 5 at the Hyatt Regency and Sat., Nov.6 at the Atlantic Civic Center in Atlanta, GA? Worth noting, Marcus Jones at these events.

            Baisden’s crusade as an activist proved to be nothing more than a publicity stunt yet again. Take his apology to ColorofChange.org as case in point. In posted in an online forum on Nov.9 at 2:35 p.m. - hours before reception doors opened for his charity fundraiser - Baisden said:

            I am relieved to have put this behind us so that both our organizations can get back to the business of helping people. There is nothing wrong with having disagreements, as long as you love people enough to work it out, sooner rather than later.
            As activists, black bloggers serve as watchdogs over more traditional community mediums. Perhaps auditing The Michael Baisden Foundation will spotlight his business practices.

            Baisden’s Web-A-Thon has raised approximately $19,000 — 1% of its target amount.

            Monday, November 12, 2007

            AverageBro Goes To The Movies: American Gangster

            Friday, November 9, 2007

            Damon Wayans and DL Hughley Hate Black Women

            A few months back, in the wake of the Don Imus/Rutgers fiasco, comedian DL Hughley was on the Tonight Show and asked about his thoughts on the matter, because he's black and that obviously makes him an authority on such issues. I've always thought DL's comedy routines were pretty funny in a crass and non-challenging way, but I haven't been able to look at this chump the same way since.



            In the months since, I've gradually watched DL become more and more of a tool for conservative cable news hosts who use him like the house Negro he is invite him on to say things about black folks they can't say themselves for fear of getting Imus-ed. In fact, he was the sole guest on a recent one hour episode of The Glen Beck Show, during which when asked about this Rutgers comments, not only reiterated them, but had the nerve to defend them. This idiot continues to justify his comments by defending his "freedom of speech". Somebody should call his mom, wife, sisters, and daughters "nappy headed ho's" and see just how he feels about "freedom of speech".

            Some during a recent comedy concert in Texas, after which a bootleg web show interviewed him about his comments. As expected, he flipped right to Chapter 27 in The Book of Negro Excuses, claiming "there are bigger fish to fry, blah, blah, blah" and wondering why everyone is so damn sensitive.



            Cry me a river, Darryl Lynn. King of Comedy, my black ass.

            Not to be outdone, the chronically underemployed Damon Wayans, who clearly didn't have anything better to do, more or less repeated the same comments while a guest on The View earlier this week.



            I was somewhat upset at the Imus/Rutgers situation, but this pisses me off far more when black men who should know far better, more or less ape the same sentiments.

            I'm sure some of you will accuse me of being overly sensitive here, but seriously, is there any need for this kinda B.S.? Just how prideful do these two Negros have to be to not just apologize and be done with it?

            Black women have it bad enough as is. Chauvinism is no laughing matter. Do both these gentlemen a favor and don't bother supporting anything they're trying to sell you until they issue some genuine mea culpas.

            Bill Cosby, assuming he isn't doing another one of his dope and grope numbers right now, is probably crying inside.

            A Banner Day For Hip-Hop



            A Note From The Management


            I will be back in my second 北京体彩网官方网站 (Twin Cities, stand up!) next week slavin' for Da' Man. This means updates won't be as timely, since I have to actually, well, work for a change. As usual, this means it's AB Guest Post Time!

            If you're a fellow blogger and would like to pinch hit for me while I'm incommunicado, shoot me a message ASAP, and we'll make it happen.

            On a somewhat related note, if you live in Minneapolis and know where some actual, real, living, breathing black folks can be found, drop me a note too. I only seem to see black folks when I go to Timberwolves games, and I even then, they're usually playing ball. Help a brotha out!

            Thursday, November 8, 2007

            I Blame Michael Richards

            , about the 北京体彩网官方网站land Security costume debacle on what's supposed to be a "progressive" blog, I wonder if there's any hope for us. In the immortal words of one man with a Hyundai and an S-Curl, "can't we all just get along?"

            Dag, would 2008 hurry up and get here or what?

            Wednesday, November 7, 2007

            Uh Oh, Reverend Creflo!!!

            A Dog-Gone Sorry Apology

            Here's Dog The Bounty Hunter's "apology". I don't even have words for this nonsense.

            I've always taken pride to be the white guy that can talk to the black people. That can refer to them truly as a brother from a different mother.
            Cry me a river, punk. I didn't really even care about the initial story, but by trying to pass off such a flimsy, half-assed apology to save your job, I think you're actually insulted my intelligence in the process.

            Have a look at this spin-job yourself. Sheez, the nerve.

            Tuesday, November 6, 2007

            The AverageBro Broken English Hall of Shame


            So, I'm watching the local news the other night, and they're reporting from a particularly grizzly murder scene in Southeast DC. Like always, the reporter had to pull the most ignorant, ill-informed person out of a crowd of other folks who were probably more articulate and knowledgeable about what had just gone down. Spit flew. Voices rose. Subjects and verbs were in total disagreement. Conjugation was a foreign concept.

            And Carter G. Woodson cried inside.

            This isn't anything new of course. This scenario is so common, there have been standup routines and sketch comedy skits about similar instances for years. So, of course, I got to thinking... what commonly butchered terms in the English language would I most like to see retired?

            Note, I am NOT talking about slang. Colloquialisms are a subject in and of themselves, and I've already covered that base anyway. Nope, I'm talking about folks who try their darndest to actually speak proper English, but still just don't get it right. Magic Johnson, I'm talkin' to you bruh. I'm sure a handful of you will start shouting words like "elitist" in the comments section, and hey, that's your prerogative. But I'm a grown assed man, and I just call em like I see em'.

            Without further adieu, here's the list of Broken English I Wish Would Go Away:

            Conversate - This might be a DC thang, as are many of the other items on this list. But for the last time, there is no such word as "conversate". The correct word is "converse". Back when I used to club (man, that was ages ago), I would always overhear some dude trying to holler at a girl, by saying "ay shawty come here, I'm just tryin' to conversate with you". Stupid is as stupid does, so sometimes this would actually work. Hmmmm.

            Irregardless - Also commonly used here in DC, and also not an actual word. I think The Russ Parr Morning Show used to have a segement that made fun of this all the time. Either way, "irregardless" is a double negative, which essentially means you're "regarding" something since the "irr" and "less" cancel each other would. It's like saying "incorrectless" or "imcompleteless". How dumb does that sound?

            Seen/Seent - This one really irks me, because 90% of the time it's said on a newscast. When somebody is describing an event that they didn't actually witness, but they still want to be on camera, this is the telltale sign. If they drop a couple of "I seent the whole thing", you know they ain't actually "seen" nothin'.

            Being as Though - This one is uniquely DC. I'm 99% sure it's not used outside this region because I never heard it until I moved here. This phrase is usually employed when a brother is trying to intellectualize something while he's conversating, and thus wants you to really know his emphatic opinion on a topic. ie: "DC is in really bad shape, being as though, I feel that the mayor needs to do more for the community".

            I Feel As Though - See: "Being As Though". Equally silly.

            I Might Could - I've heard Kayne West say this one alot. Might and Could are contrasting words, it's the same effect as saying "sorta kinda", but just sounds dumberer.

            Sword - For the 999th time, black people, the "W" is silent. Arrghhh!!!!

            I'm sure ya'll have your own list to add, and undoubtedly this list will prolly include something I say on the regular. Go head, I'm a grown man, I can take the hit.

            Since no post is complete without a photo or video (or so say my Google Analytics reports), I figured I'd leave ya'll with this classic YouTube nonsense. This one's pretty old, and yes, it is indeed a real news story. Please watch and enjoy.



            An AverageBro Classic: Let's Retire a Few More Words While We're At It.