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            Showing posts with label Hollyweird.
            Showing posts with label Hollyweird.

            Thursday, April 23, 2015

            Note To Self: Never Marry A Kardashian. Never, Ever.

            So, just to tally it up...

            Lamar Odom marries Khloe Kardashian. Promptly develops a crack habit at age 30 (who does that?), and is out in the NBA quicker than you can say "Wait, they fired Scott Brooks?"[1]

            Kanye West marries Kim Kardashian, and doesn't even sound like a guy from the southside of Chicago anymore. Seriously, ? He sounds like the guy who makes my (occasional) iced coffee.

            The first guy who married Kris Jenner died of throat Cancer. I have no idea what to categorize what the hell is currently happening to Bruce Jenner, but it's pretty clear why has no interest whatsoever in wifing her up.



            Look, I'm not here to disparage Bruce Jenner from doing whatever it takes to find peace in life. After 20 years married to that woman and raising those asshole kids, I might do something racial too. I'm not sure if "something radical" includes removing my penis, but whatever.

            Question: Are you equally confused by this?

            [1] Kevin Durant impending free agency is gonna be weirder and more drawn out that any of Lebron's "Decisions".

            Wednesday, June 11, 2014

            Halle Berry Owes $16K/Month In Child Support. Stevie J Is $1M In Arrears.

            As a guy married for nearly 13 years, I can tell you marriage is work. Mix in kids, and it damn near becomes a 2nd day job, albeit one with great benefits. The adage goes "it's cheaper to keep her", which is a nice way of telling men they're better off staying married than getting divorced and being forced to live in a van down by the river. Not that I need reminding, because I have plenty of family and friends who have had their futures wrecked by the dreaded combination of divorce and spousal support. Of course, you should contribute to the financial wellbeing of your kids, but what's a reasonable price?

            are on separate ends of a dreaded court order, and I'm wondering if how people are judging both is due to the gender of the person involved.
            Halle Berry has a hefty new expense. The Oscar-winning actress has to pay over $16,000 in child support each month to her ex, Gabriel Aubry, to provide for their 6-year-old daughter Nahla, the Los Angeles Superior Court ordered.

            Berry's monthly bill will remain in effect until Nahla turns 19 or graduates high school, whichever occurs first, according to court documents obtained by CNN. The settlement came on May 30, at the end of lengthy child support legal battle.

            The court also ordered Berry to pay $115,000 retroactively in child support, as well as to cover her ex-boyfriend's legal fees, which amount to $300,000. The "X-Men: Days of Future Past" star is fully responsible for Nahla's tuition, while both parents will divide health care costs.
            In the words of that sage American hero Jax Teller, JESUS CHRIST!!!!

            Not to be outdone, "reality TV star" Steebie . Yes, even more heinous than acting like a moron on TV and marrying Joseline.
            Reality-TV star and onetime hit producer Stevie J has been arrested after racking up what TMZ reports is a "million-dollar child support debt." According to the gossip site, the Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star is currently in jail after he allegedly stopped paying a court-ordered $8,500 monthly child support payment in 2001.

            According to a criminal complaint seen by TMZ, Stevie J fathered two children with his then live-in girlfriend in 1997 and 1998 and was initially ordered to pay $6,500 in child support in 1999. That amount was raised to $8,500 a few years later.

            TMZ reports that Stevie J hasn't paid child support in some 13 years, bringing his estimated total back child support owed to $1,107,412!
            Breh, how can you not pay child support for 13 years? How is that even possible, and why exactly is the children's mother (how old are these kids by now, 25?) just now trying to collect?

            My theory is pretty simple: this guy probably had an agreement with the child's mother to give her whatever he could, off the grid, and she agreed. Years later, he's on reality to flossin' like he's a millionaire and she decides she wants a chunk. Turns out that chunk is well over a million dollars for two damn kids. Amazing.

            I've heard it said before, and it bears repeating: if you've ever in such a position, establish child support via the courts immediately and pay. Under the table support doesn't count in the system, and should the recipient decide your under the table arrangement isn't sufficient, she can file and recieve money retroactively, which wouldn't take into account any of what you've already paid. Or if you're in Stevie's case and suddenly go from making Bad Boy money to No Money Mo Problems money, lawyer up, go to court and get your monthly obligation modified downward. Any black man who has spent hours of his formative years in a black barbershop would know this, as well as a million and one other legal tidbits. Life hacks, my arse.

            As for Berry, well damn. $16k a month to a guy we weren't ever married to is bad enough, but I'm also wondering how she managed to lose custody in the first place. 9 times out of 10, the courts will deem the mother the optimal parent for a child unless she has some serious mental/substance abuse issues. I don't know much about Berry, but jeez, with the money she has, she must be really screwed up if the courts gave her daughter to the kid's father.

            Either way, let this be a lesson for everyone: pull out!

            Question: Thoughts? Opinions? Got a gruesome child support story of your own you wanna share?

            Monday, January 27, 2014

            The AB.Com Post-Grammy Open Mic.

            Yeah, I watched it. So did you. Here's a few very random observations. Add yours below.

            Social Activism Disguised As An Awards Show - I'm for marriage equality. I voted for it. If you want to join the ranks of the married, you're more than willing to take the same 50/50 chance the rest of us are. That said, when I tune into a music awards show, I expect music and awards. Not a mass wedding ceremony president over by Bishop Dana Owens, and fiftyeleven songs about alternate lifestyles. There is such a thing as too much, and last night was too damn much. Enough already. And yes, I understand that given who runs Hollywood and the music industry, this was the perfect time for such ceremonies. I get all that. Still, just too much. Stop it.

            Wacklemore Wins Everything - I'm no fan of Macklemore and his oddly mute partner Ryan Lewis. I do understand their appeal. They make catchy pop tunes. They're cleancut. They made that really lame, but really timely "Same Love" song. They more or less ran 2013, and they deserved some acknowledgement for that. But seriously: best Rap Album? Are you f*ckin' kidding me?

            Kendrick Won, Even If He Lost - With the exception of a pretty good musical performance, 2013's most talented breakout artist won nothing, but won everything. What he didn't gain in awards, he more than gained in name/face recognition. And in the entertainment world, that currency matters more than anything.

            Are The Beattles Gods Or Something? - Look, I grew up with a father with some ecclectic listening habits, so I'm well versed in all things Beattles. I acknowledge their artistry and contributions to the world of music. Still, people treat Paul and Ringo like they here's to forgive us of all our sins. Reality is, they're just two supremely talented guys that haven't made a good new song since the Carter Administration. The truth hurts. Own it.

            Beyonce And Jay-Z - I didn't see much of this performance, but my wife did and kept talking about how sloppy/unpolished this was. What did ya'll think?

            I Actually Like Taylor Swift Now - No, I don't like her music. And no, I'm not picking on her for thinking she won an award that she actually didn't. I like her because she seemed to be the only person in the entire building actually having fun, appreciating the musical acts, and generally appreciating what she was experiencing. Call that whatever you want, but I like it.

            I Don't Like Lordes - No need to lie, I hadn't heard "Royals" before last night, and I think it's a terrible overhyped song. What's so great about it? Real talk, I didn't know 90% of the songs, or artists last night? I was just tuned in for the latest Miley Cyrus trainwreck, which oddly didn't even materialize.

            Question: I know you watched it. What did you think?

            Friday, January 17, 2014

            The Devil Baby Attack Prank.

            I watch a lot of horror movies, usually within the comfy confines of my own 北京体彩网官方网站. So I probably won't be seeing "Devil's Due" anytime soon, but I gotta admit, this is a darn clever way to virally market your movie. Of course, 99% of people who watch this probably think the movie's called "Devil's Baby", so....



            Bonus, here's a similar viral prank for 387th remake of the movie "Carrie" a few months ago.[1]



            Question: How do you think you'd respond to this prank?!?

            [1] I'm not 100% sure the participants (including the "customers") in this one aren't all actors. They all just look a bit too "polished". Maybe that's just me.

            Wednesday, October 10, 2012

            Stacey Dash: Romney Supporter Or "Clueless" Aunt Jemimah?!?

            , setting off a "firestorm of controversy". And by "firestorm of controversy", I mean Conservative media outlets have found yet one more black person to elevate as "ostracized by other blacks for having the nerve to vote against a black President".
            Actress Stacey Dash told talk show host Piers Morgan she "was shocked, saddened," by the ferocious attacks she received on Twitter after voicing her support for GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

            The "Clueless" actress, who voted for barack Obama in 2008, said she supported Romney "because of the state of the country北京体彩网官方网站, and I want the next four years to be different."

            "I believe him. I watched him, the Governor and his wife, on 'Meet The Press,'" she explained. "They spoke to me, they seemed authentic and genuine."

            Dash also echoed Martin Luther King, Jr. in her support of Romney, saying: "I chose him not by the color of his skin but the content of his character."
            Actress Stacey Dash told talk show host Piers Morgan she "was shocked, saddened," by the ferocious attacks she received on Twitter after voicing her support for GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney.

            Several others went as far as to encourage “the old hag” to “kill herself.” One suicide encourager is listed as a doctor and politically active Democrat in Washington D.C., and although he reportedly has deleted the inflammatory “kill yourself” tweet, it was captured by social media news site, Twitchy.com.
            Seriously, Fox News has dedicated prolly a half dozen segments praising Dash for her "bravery in the face of intraracial hatred".

            Dash, clearly looking for relevance/work to capitalize on the momentary upsurge in interest went on CNN's Piers Morgan last night, for what might be one of the best examples of hollow vanity journalism ever aired. Seriously, Piers, I know you're not a "hard journalist" or anything, but the level of pandering here was rather amazing. Why don't you just ask Stacey Dash out while you're at it?!?

            I'll give Dash one thing, and one thing only: she didn't lapse into the typical Black Conservative victimology bit. She admitted she was an Obama supporter in 08', but isn't now. No mention that Romney's "better for the black community" than Obama, or that Obama and the Democrats "take black voters for granted". No self-loathing here. Good for you, Stacey.

            On the flipside, her reasons for supporting Romney weren't really all that substantive. If you think Obama hasn't done that great a job, but can't point out any reasons why Romney would be better other than "I trust him", your opinion's kinda irrelevant. And while Dash didn't play the "woe is me" victim role, she did seem delighted that she got a phone call of support from Paul Ryan. Cause we know Paul Ryan loves the sistas and whatnot. So don't be shocked to see Dash at some campaign even with #TeamRomney before all is said and done. You'd have to be truly clueless to not see that one coming.

            Dash would also have to be clueless to think Conservatives suddenly elevating her to folk hero status actually give a sh*t about her for any reason other than advancing their own self interests. Seriously, if they can't name a single one of your career accomplishments other than a 20 year old movie you co-starred in, they're prolly just using you.

            Question: Do Stacey Dash's reasons for joining #TeamRomney make any sense? Does her justification sound any better/worse than your typical low information "celebrity"!?

            * This post's title is completely sensationalized to maximize click-thrus. I don't consider Dash an Aunt Jemimah. She is entitled to her freedom of speech. As am I. #TeamSEO

            Thursday, July 12, 2012

            The Problem With Boycotting Love And Hip Hop Atlanta And Other Negro Reality TV Show.

            [Editor's Note: Yes, this is a very long-winded diatribe about a reality show. If this ain't your cup of oolong, spare us the comments and just hit the archives, please. Carrying on...]

            Since I run a reasonably successful blog[1] on which my personal email address is prominently featured, I get forwarded a bunch of crap in my inbox. And not an hour goes by without me getting an e-petition to boycott some Negro Reality TV show. Enough is enough.

            Not gonna lie here, I love me some Negro Reality TV. I watch the Housewives, I watched Basketball Wives before it got really lame, my wife has been making me attempting to get me into Hollywood Exes, and oh yeah, we watch the newest Negro Reality phenomenon, Love And Hip Hop Atlanta. The shows in a strange way have become an integral part of pretty much any family function we have at our house. We store a bunch of them on the DVR, and when my mom, aunt, brothers, okay, most my side of the family comes over, we re-watch the shows together and talk smack. Could we as a family be sitting around doing estate planning and retracing our roots back to the Motherland instead? Sure. But we like this more. Sue us.

            I can't really explain why I like these shows, other than the fact that they make me feel slightly better about my lot in life on days when I need such a thing. I also realize that an educated, professional black man is supposed to be doing more productive sh*t with his time like reading books or 北京体彩网官方网站 improvement projects. Whatever. People like what they like, and when they like something, they make up reasons for liking it that seldom make sense to those who don't like it.

            If that last line confused you, re-read it. Slowly. Word. By. Word.

            Love And Hip Hop Atlanta (we'll just call it LAHHATL) is a particularly ratchet show. The show's an assortment of people you'd prolly want to avoid in real life. On TV, they're practically impossible to turn away from. It's like the TV equivalent of a train wreck.



            Child-sized "ex-Bad Boy producer" Stevie J talks like a pimp who might just have a yet-to-be diagnosed case of Bell's Palsy.[2] If he is a pimp, he has the most deplorable stable of talent. His baby mama Mimi is a walking, talking case study in Daddy issues and insecurity. The man treats her with zero respect, yet she stays with him, obviously because she has no means of paying her own rent. Which seems to be a pattern because nobody on this show has an actual job that requires a W-2. Stevie's other "girl", a strange, alien looking chick named Joseline might not even technically be a girl. The results are inconclusive. The fake pregnancy test she took that revealed she was pregnant with Stevie J's baby was not inconclusive. And yes, there was an equally faked abortion. It's that kinda classy party, folks. Do wear white.

            Veteran rapper Rasheeda is on the wrong side of 30 years old, and intermittently talks like a grandmother, which, (irony alert!) she actually is. Her husband is the most effeminate, undeniably straight man ever seen on TV, as well as her manager, which naturally means they're perpetually broke. They're the closest thing to an actual functional couple on a show that has "Love" in its title. Nice. The other characters consist of a bunch of women who look alike and are too boring for me to bother knowing their names. There's some Keyshia Cole wannabe who has a well documented anger problem that's effecting her career arc. Some other chick who also wants Stevie J to produce her records, conveniently ignoring the fact that Stevie hasn't made a hit since the Clinton administration. Some other-other chick with a hairdo way too short for her head size who dispenses relationship advice, but (shocker!) has no man of her own.

            And then there's Lil' Scrappy and his "ladies".

            Look, I actually like Lil' Scrappy. I still listen to "Beatin' Down The Block" at least twice a month. I, too, wanna be a gangsta foreveerrrrrr. But sadly Lil' Scrappy, who is now pushing 31, but acts the inverse, has no clue that the cRap game has passed him by. It's sad watching a grown man who should prolly just go enroll at Everest College and call it a day, still trying to "relaunch his career". Scrappy's baby mama Ericka is a nice girl who prolly did go to Everest College, but has no clue that when a man announces he's "moving out to get some space", it doesn't mean he's preparing to ask for your hand in marriage. Nope, it means he wants to go bang some other h*es, including one chick from Flavor Of Love who looks like she's been eating a looooot of Church's since her last Negro Reality TV series. And then there's Scrappy's Trill OG mother Mama Dee who yells at Ericka that she "left my son for dead!!!" when Ericka apparently didn't attend to Scrappy during a bout with asthma. Yes, thugs with inhalers. Get like me.

            If this all sounds too convoluted or just downright tacky for your bourgeois sensitives, join the crowd. But hey, I love the show, and watch it religiously. Does that somehow make me less intelligent? Less enlightened? Should I really be somewhere reading a book or finishing a 北京体彩网官方网站 improvement project? Prolly so. Whatever.

            I guess I don't get too tripped up by these shows because I consider them nothing more than entertainment.[3] Period. They're little more than loosely scripted sitcoms. You could even call it a soap opera and I personally wouldn't be too offended. It is what it is. And what it isn't is "making black people look bad". That's some bullsh*t and it's a seriously lame cop out.

            You wanna know what really makes black people look bad? Black people.

            Open a newspaper. Turn on Fox News the 6 o'clock news. Turn on your local Hot/Power/Kiss radio station. Take a field trip (back) to the hood'. Hell, just take a look around at your next family reunuion. We know drama, eff' a TNT. We practically invented it. These shows are but another pickle on the sh*t sandwich that is the current state of Black America, hell, for that matter, America period. If you wanna see some truly ignant behavior, just flip over to CMT. They also know drama. And yeah, eff' a TNT.[4]

            So no, I can not, I shall not, and I will not sign your simp-assed petition to get a Negro Reality TV show off the air. The problem ain't Joseline and Stevie J. The problem is us. Taking your frustration out on a TV show isn't gonna fix anything. In fact, I'mma have to "put them paws on"[5] the next person who forwards me that lame sh*t. Stop it.

            If you don't like the shows, there's a very simple fix. It's called a power button. Use it.

            Don't hate, DVR-ate. Or use the power button. Just quit forwarding me that sh*t, already. Bamas.

            Question: Do you watch Negro Reality TV shows?!? Are these shows the cause of the moral decay of the black community, or is it just freakin' entertainment?!?

            [1] #humblebrag

            [2] It's those weird facial expressions. He should seriously have that checked out.

            [3] If you're worried about the effect of these shows on your kids, here's a little tip: Watch the show with your kids and point out everything wrong while you watch it. Together. It's called parenting. Or you could go read a book/finish a 北京体彩网官方网站 improvement project together. Whatever.

            [4] Yes, I know they changed the slogan and it's just "Drama" now.

            [5] What an utterly random way of announcing that you're gonna jump someone in an unlit parking lot. And subsequently get your a$$ kicked. Next time, don't "put dem paws" on him. Square up.

            Friday, June 29, 2012

            Who's Going To See Ted?!?

            Before you ask, no, this isn't an ad. Yes, I really, really want to go see this movie.



            Question: Who's Going To See Ted?!?

            Friday, November 11, 2011

            Should Kim Kardashian Be Starring In A Tyler Perry Movie?!?

            sorta rubs me the wrong way.

            Kim Kardashian has arrived in Atlanta to film scenes for Tyler Perry’s upcoming movie, “The Marriage Counselor.” Some of Perry’s fans want the reality show personality off the project.

            A number of comments from Perry’s website demonstrate some folks’ desire to see Kardashian, who just filed for divorced 72 days after her made-for-TV wedding, gone.

            “Kim Kardashian in your movie? Why have you stooped this low?” one person posted.

            Wrote another: “I believe it is against your better judgment to have Kim Kardashian star as a supporting actress in your upcoming movie. You still have a moral responsibility to your supporters to maintain a level integrity when in comes to casting your movies. I have to boycott this film if Kim Kardashian is part of this project.”

            And another: “Mr. Perry when I first heard that you had select Kim to star in a role in one of your movies I dismissed it as typo. I’m not sure what you expect her to bring to your set.”

            Other posters sounded more supportive, or at least less outraged. One sounded resolved yet irritated: “Well Tyler, since you are going ahead and keep Kim Kardashian in your new movie in spite of how your fans feel tells it all. You’re beginning to sound arrogant. I felt so proud of how hard you work and how connected you are to your fan base. I don’t see it as your fans telling you what to do and feel like we can because of our undying support, but dang TP, Kardashian does not fit.”
            Okay, black women folks, I'm gonna call bullsh*t on this one.

            Look, I get it. Kim K's already not exactly a fan favorite to lots of sistas because she "dates" a lot of high profile black men. So there's that. I'm thinking quite a bit of the criticism is reflective of such sentiment, whether sistas are willing to admit it or not.

            But seriously, this isn't The Color Purple. This is another lousy Tyler Perry movie that's gonna be on TBS before the NBA Finals are over (as if!). Kardashian isn't the first non-talented person to get a starring movie role, and won't be the last. Perry knows his formula, and putting Kim K on those movie posters is probably going to bring in an entirely new audience to witness the coonery. This is all about a brotha trying to get ahead. Don't hate. If you don't like it, for the love of baby Jesus, please do not pay to see this movie. Go read a book, or learn Excel formulas, or something more productive with your time.

            Besides...

            "Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?"

            I'm just sayin'.

            Question: Should Kim K be starring in a Tyler Perry Joint? Don't Negroes Have More Important Sh*t To Be Worrying About?!?

            Monday, November 7, 2011

            Herman Cain Accuser To Speak Today.

            .

            The media circus surrounding Herman Cain just got its third ring. The celebrity gossip website Radar reports that Gloria Allred — yes, that one — will introduce America to a woman who says Cain harassed her in the past.

            The woman, who will be the first to go public on Monday, sought Cain’s help with an employment issue and was allegedly sexually harassed by him. Allred and her client will discuss, in detail, what she alleges occurred with Cain.

            Allred’s office did not immediately respond to a request for confirmation on the Radar story.

            Other Cain accusers have declined the spotlight. On Friday, the attorney for a woman who settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s told reporters in Washington that his client stood by her claim but would not be saying anything more about it. Another woman who allegedly settled a sexual harassment claim against Cain with the NRA also has not come forward.
            This one can go either of two (okay, 3) ways for Daddy Green.

            Good - Everyone knows that Gloria Allred is a feminist ambulance chaser. Yes, she brings credibility to any allegations, but like Rebb'n Al and Jesse, she also takes away credibility by merely showing up. If Cain wants to blame the media for his current situation, few people are a better lightning rod for such criticism than Allred. The mere nature of Allred's track record also makes it easy to discredit the alleged victim as merely out for fame/money.

            Bad - Sure, Allred's going to hurt the cause, but putting a living, breathing, talking (and no doubt painfully expressioned) face behind these allegations takes the whole "anonymous" aspect of this story and tosses it out the window. If this woman's story even sounds remotely realistic, Cain's going to have to respond, rather than remain on the defensive. Even worse, if this woman is white... well, let's just say "Bye bye, Daddy Green. It's been real."

            Ugly - The woman makes some very unsavory allegations about Cain that he's forced to defend/rebut. Instead of saying "I'm sorry" (as if), Cain and Co. go dig up some dirt on the woman to discredit her. The whole tit for tat consumes another week of news cycles, at which point many party leaders ask Cain to drop out. A fullblown internal race war develops within the GOP. Newt Gingrich arises from the ashes to take the lead in all polls. And Obama wins re-election by a staggering margin.

            Assuming this press conference is televised (of course it will be!) I'll try and somehow tune in and drop the inevitable Youtube here later on.

            Question: How will Gloria Allred and this new accuser effect Cain's campaign?

            Tuesday, October 11, 2011

            Who Will Replace Hank Williams Jr. For The MNF Theme Song?!?

            . And he's got more than just President Obama on his sh*t list now.

            Are you ready for some vengeance, vapid lyricism and strained rhyming patterns?

            Hank Williams Jr. is releasing a new song entitled "I'll Keep My ...," in which he calls out ESPN and Fox News after his remarks about President Barack Obama and Adolf Hitler on "Fox and Friends" led to his dismissal from the "Monday Night Football" theme song after 23 years.

            The country北京体彩网官方网站 music singer wrote the song on Friday and is scheduled to release it late Monday or early Tuesday. In its third verse, he takes issue with how Fox took his words out of context: "So Fox 'n Friends wanna put me down/Ask for my opinion/Twist it all around."

            Williams calls the U.S. the "United Socialist States of America" earlier in the song. He finishes the third verse with a subtlety you'd expect from the man who wrote "Why Can't We All Just Get a Long Neck?" The song ends with the suggestive jab, "Well two can play that gotcha game you'll see."

            During an appearance on "The View" last week, Williams found a measure of support from Whoopi Goldberg. This led to him suggesting a possible Whoopi/Hank presidential ticket in the future.
            I gotta admit, it takes some testicles the size of the Grand Ole' Opry to clap back against Fox News. The network is obviously the propagandist of choice for Williams' fan base, which is likely going to make for some odd calls for allegiance in the near future.

            Dixie Chicks, anyone?

            Anyways, with "Are You Ready?" sidelined forever, I can't help but wonder who MNF will choose to make the next version of their iconic theme song. The show's temporary generic montage entrance now lacks the dramatic buildup that makes we wanna run out for buffalo wings and Bud Light Limes.[1] The new song is going to have to be energetic and "All American", but it goes without saying that the artist can't be controversial in any way, shape or form. Since MNF is a "man's show", you should probably rule out female artists too. And no rappers. Rap music isn't American.

            I'm curious. Tell me who you might nominate to fill ole' Hank's boots.

            Question: What good, safe, wholesome artist that could replace Hank Williams Jr. and create the new Monday Night Football theme song? Would Williams have kept his job if he sincerely apologized, or did he need the get the boot for his comment?

            [1] Don't knock it till you've tried it.

            Friday, September 16, 2011

            Tyler Perry's For Better Or For Worse TV Series Trailer.

            What the hell, since this has clearly (and inadvertently) turned into Tyler Perry Week™ here, why not toss another log on the fire? Perry's small screen series adaptation of the Why Did I Get Married? movies is coming to TBS this fall, whether you like it or not. The check already cleared, so there.

            For Better Or For Worse seems to , two incredibly annoying people who really added nothing to the aforementioned movies at all. So yeah, the For Worse part seems to apply here.



            Personally, this looks like waaaaay too much drama for me. Is the fractured marriage between a untrustworthy, cheating man and quarrelsome, untrusting woman really a good enough premise for a weekly show? I don't think so, and while I'm sure somebody's going to label this "positive" because the main characters live in a nice house, reality is this sort of dysfunction isn't something I'm particularly interested in watching.

            I'll pass. You?!?

            Question: What do you think of Tyler Perry's For Better Or For Worse? Will you watch this?

            Thursday, September 15, 2011

            Tyler Perry Is Hollywood's Top Earner. No, Seriously.

            , and ask ya'll to drive the discussion.

            By dressing up as a woman, Tyler Perry became the highest-earning man in Hollywood.

            According to Forbes' new report, the actor/writer/director/producer took in the most cash in show business from May 2010-May 2011, with his multiple movies and two TV shows earning him $130 million during that time frame. His "Madea's Big Happy Family," in which he played multiple roles, including the loud woman title character, earned $53.3 million, while "Why Did I Get Married Too" took in $60 million.

            His shows include "House of Payne" and "Meet The Browns."

            Coming in at number two at $113 million was Jerry Bruckheimer, the mega movie producer who flopped with a pair of live action titles (including Jake Gyllenhaal's "Prince of Persia," which took in only $90 million and was one of the big busts of the year) but got back to his billion dollar ways with the fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" film, which took in $1.03 billion thanks to worldwide theater success.

            Steven Spielberg, in his producing capacity, raked in $107 million. And that doesn't even include the success of this summer's "Transformers 3" or "Super 8," or the upcoming films that he's directing, "The Adventures of Tin Tin," and "War Horse," both of which come out this fall. He's also a producer behind "Men in Black III," which, presumably, may make a few bucks.
            Your thoughts?

            Question: What does Perry's ascendance to the top of Hollywood say about the movie industry, black America, and Perry himself?!?

            Tuesday, August 16, 2011

            Why Does Hollywood Keep Making Movies Like The Help?!?

            .

            American historical films are forever refighting old wars, congratulating themselves for being on the right side, and encouraging viewers to pat themselves on the back for being on the right side, too. They view the war from the general's tent up on a distant hill and imagine that they're right in the thick of it. That's how Paul Haggis' "Crash" swept the Oscars in 2006 -- by serving up a contemporary story of Los Angelenos who said and did brazenly racist things in public constantly, as if it were 1967 and everyone was wearing love beads, Afros and hard hats. The characters seemed crude and primitive, lacking in self-awareness, unenlightened; this made them easy to label, judge and dismiss. A variation on this strategy has enabled another race drama, "The Help," to become an instant hit, a likely Oscar contender, and yet another reminder that when mainstream cinema depicts discrimination, it tends to ask the same two questions: "How did this affect white people?" and "Aren't you glad you're not bigoted like the creeps in this movie?"

            Based on the 2009 novel by Kathryn Stockett, and endorsed by Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry, this civil rights-era movie about a young Caucasian writer telling the harsh but true stories of African-American domestics appears to grant the stories of its white and black characters equal weight. It even gives the voice-over narration to one of the maids, Aibileen Clark (Viola Davis). But the pretense of dramatic equality collapses if you look at what's actually happening on-screen, and what got marginalized or omitted.

            And so, yet again, for what seems like the zillionth time, a heart-tugging Hollywood film transforms a harrowing and magnificent period of African-American life into a story of once-blinkered white people becoming enlightened. The black characters' struggles are sensitively rendered, magnificently acted, and sometimes heartbreaking sideshows. Although Viola Davis' subtle performance anchors the movie, and will likely earn this perpetually underrated actress an Oscar nomination, giving Aibileen the movie's voice-over won't fool anybody. This is Skeeter's movie. She's the one who sets the plot in motion. Without her youthful idealism, these downtrodden black women would have continued to suffer in silence.

            I've heard somewhat sheepish arguments to the effect that the white folks' stories take center stage in these films because they're more clearly dramatic. Why? Well, you see, it's because drama -- commercial mainstream drama, anyway -- is about people learning, changing and growing, and the non-white characters' stories are less dramatic because they already know discrimination is bad, which means their "arcs" are inherently less interesting. No, I promise you, some moviemakers really do think this way. The only proper response to this kind of thinking is to smack one's forehead -- or better yet, the filmmaker's -- with a tack hammer. At least it's offered timidly and rarely, and as a commercial rather than an artistic defense.

            Even more problematic is the overriding sense -- conveyed not just in "The Help," but in so many historical movies -- that the era being depicted is tucked safely away in the past, a closed chapter, and the collective insanity that gripped society has dissipated thanks to the efforts of good-hearted people like you, the viewer.
            Chime in below.

            Question: Why do movies like The Help keep getting made? Why are these stories seldom told from the victim's point of view?





            [1] 10th anniversary. Bahamas. 7 Days. Eff' yo' recession!

            Thursday, August 11, 2011

            Ashy Or Classy?!? - Tyler Perry's MadeaTV™ Cable Channel.

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            Lionsgate is betting that Tyler Perry has the star power to carry an entire cable channel, Oprah Winfrey style.

            That movie studio and Mr. Perry — whose flourishing African-American fan base consistently turns his plays, television shows and films into hits — are forming a new venture called Tyler TV, according to an industry official briefed on the matter who requested anonymity because the plans are private.

            The partners will initially stock the channel with reruns of Mr. Perry’s sitcoms and movies, including the popular Madea series, in which he appears in drag as the title character, a gun-toting grandmother. They also plan to buy third-party content that meshes with Mr. Perry’s Christianity-tinged brand.

            The days when media companies could easily introduce channels have long passed because of a clogged cable dial and competition from the Web, among other factors. Mr. Perry has always focused on a narrow and loyal niche: African-American women. His fans have a history of following him across the entertainment spectrum. Mr. Perry’s stage performances sell out in minutes. His two TBS comedies, “House of Payne” and “Meet the Browns,” have generated solid ratings, and a third series, “For Better or Worse,” will begin in the fall.

            And Mr. Perry’s movies, which range from the campy “Diary of a Mad Black Woman” to the highbrow “For Colored Girls,” have sold more than $522 million in tickets.

            Lionsgate and Mr. Perry are exploring three routes for distribution, according to the official briefed on the matter. One involves rebranding all or part of the TV Guide Network, which is available to about 80 million 北京体彩网官方网站s. Lionsgate owns 50 percent of that channel; One Equity Partners controls the rest.

            Lionsgate and Mr. Perry also could buy a small cable channel that has a complementary audience — the Gospel Broadcasting Network comes to mind — and move to rebrand and expand it. Another option involves Comcast, which extracted approval from government regulators for its recent takeover of NBC Universal by committing to provide more minority-run programming.
            It's a bit ironic that a man responsible for perpetuating some of the worst stereotypes of Black life if probably going to benefit from gubb'ment regulations for minority-run programming. I'm sure that's exactly what Rebb'n Al and Co. had in mind when they were trying to extort Comcast/NBC.

            Much like Centric/BET/TV One, I suspect I'd only occasionally tune into MadeaTV™, provided he's got the obligatory awards coontastic show.

            And loses the dresses and pumps.

            Question: Ashy or Classy?!? Would you watch MadeaTV™?!?

            Wednesday, April 6, 2011

            More Maury "You Are Not The Father" Videos.....

            Hey, why fake it. Yes, I watch this show. Yes, today's post is giving me the green light to run a bunch of clips. Live with it.





            Monday, April 4, 2011

            Ashy Or Classy?!? - That Corny Black Dude From Community Becomes A cRapper.

            , and even to a hip hop snob like me, they're not half bad.

            I'm not saying Childish Gambino (work on that name, please!) has a career in rap music, but it's not beyond the realm of believability. I mean, seriously, did anyone think a half-Jewish kid from Canada who once played a paraplegic on a children's show would be the biggest thing in cRap someday?



            I'm just sayin', it could happen.

            As is, Donald Glover might be onto something, so I'll call this one Classy. What say ye'?

            Question: Ashy Or Classy?!? Does this guy have a shot at being the next Drake, or is the divide between his on-screen and on-record persona too stark to be believable?

            Sunday, April 3, 2011

            Anyone Else Recognize The Black Kid In This Movie Trailer?!?

            Brave the first few minutes of this trailer, and you'll catch it. Or you could just stare at the still shot.

            Tuesday, September 28, 2010

            Laugh Break: Rob Stapleton.

            A funny set from an underrated standup veteran. As usual, cop the headphones.

            Monday, September 27, 2010

            Ashy Or Classy?!? - Katy Perry On Sesame Street?!?

            unless you will pay the cost of and without any discount. You can get too with purchasing of .

            The segment -- in which Perry sings a toned-down version of Hot N Cold with Elmo -- was originally going to air on New Year's Eve, but the video made its way to YouTube this week and quickly attracted nearly a million views. But with those views came angry comments about Perry's outfit, which showed off her figure.

            Sesame Street producers decided it was in the show's best interest to remove Perry's song from the broadcast. A spokesperson said that while they enjoy entertaining adult viewers, their first priority is children.Here's the video, judge for yourself.



            Personally I don't see what the big deal is about this video, or for that matter Perry, who seems rather pretty plain Jane to me. Is her plunging neckline perhaps a bit too much for a toddler show? Maybe so. Is she well aware of what she's doing here? I'm sure she is. Is this "Awww shucks, I totally didn't mean to give your kid a chubby by coming on a children's program with my tits out" act nothing more than a shrewd publicity stunt for Perry? Certainly.

            But lets not pretend that children's entertainment is so clean and wholesome like it was back in the day. Any who has suffered thru neverending repeats of watched Shrek 8 million times and peeped all the double entendres knows what I'm talkin' about.

            I wouldn't exactly call this one Ashy or Classy. I'm just gonna say it's "Neutral".

            What say ye?

            Question: Was this video in bad taste for a children's program? What other examples have you seen where the boundaries of appropriate children's program were being pushed?

            Tuesday, September 21, 2010

            Laugh Break: Corey Holcomb.

            This guy is hands-down my favorite comedian out right now. Period. Be forewarned, the language and subject matter is not for the faint of heart.



            In case you're wondering, yes, this is just an act. Holcomb is married with children.